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Today's Featured Biography

Kevin Crosby

You may remember I skipped the assembly where the Man gave me a Presidential Academic Fitness Award for Government, and you guys gave Tom Manion and myself a Beer Connoisseur's License. Unstudied and suffering the worst hangover of my life I scored better than 90+% of u.s. on the SAT.

Go K-Town!

Right after high school before college I got to sleep in the lobby of the Seattle Federal Building. Like that would happen these days.

I even got a Dorm Leadership Award the my first year at the University of Washington before eventually being banned from the dorms for circumventing their authority by moving out instead of just getting rid of my pet rat.

I couldn't swing a dead cat in college without hitting a DoD brat wanting to date me. That government ID we all got sure did open a lot of doors.

I continued to live in the dorms illegally through the 1990 Goodwill Games. At the end of 1995, some teen kid would pass me "A View to a Kill: James Bond" on videotape that is instead a collection of news announcements of terrorist threats in Seattle during the olympic event.

I characterize myself as a lifelong grunge-hippie rabble-rouser. From refusing to recite the Pledge of Allegiance and getting paddled in grade school to getting kicked out of Sunday School for questioning their dogma to opening the back doors of police cars at a hip hop nightclub stabbing weeks after the LA Riots, I've gotten away with murder.

Fun(?) times.

In early April 1996 I filed a sworn statement to the FBI detailing a meeting between my parents and Janet Reno in a secret room at Disneyland when I was a kid. I was immediately gang stalked in earnest which lasted several years if not continuing.

It's been very New World Order, especially after I reduced a young police officer to a babbling mess with conditioned triggers I learned in the 1980s that my new girlfriend in 1996 pulled on me.

Today I'm a Mind Control researcher. My illustrated Brain Implants essay, for example, was for some time credited as the basis for the Wikipedia article on the subject, and the Society of Applied Psychology in Mexico is publishing some of my research in a book on famous psychologists and organizational gurus. Paranoia Magazine asked me to write an article on Disney for them, but they're too paranoid to publish it.

My Yahoo! news groups include CIA Tradecraft and Why We Hate Disney. I also like to write fake news articles for The Spoof and answer deep questions on Yahoo Answers.

You should've seen the looks I got for talking about cloning in 1996. I already knew of 1993 human embyro twinning as well as Dolly despite the yearlong news blackout. During 1996, my brain was telling me about mouse brains piloting aircraft and implants acting as cameras, technology I'd only learn later when reported as new science. My brain even pointed me to see a "star" in the morning sky go from standstill to über-fast with roar but no sonic boom.

For fun I play my Heartless Wish deck on Magic: The Gathering Online where my buddies have nicknamed me the 1984 Minister of Information.

SkewsMe.com

P.S. Admittedly, I sometimes feel like the kid in the Omen 2 when he learns the military knows more about him than he does....

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