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Today's Featured Biography

 
Nels Johnson

Well, after seeing how Richard Lane did his, I thought i could go him one better.

Born in St. Petersburg at Mound park Hospital, delivered by Dr. Robert Cole who one day would be our mayor.

Went to Glen Oak Elementry until I was thrown out of school for supposedly throwing paper scissors at my first grade teacher. My parents promptly put me in St. Josephs Catholic School until entering eight grade.

This was an epochful year for me.
1. I had to dress with a lot of naked guys and wear a jock strap at South Side Junior High. The nuns never made us wear jock straps.
2. I met little Richard Lane. We both played for McGahn Plumbing coached by Vic Xander. He was the only guy I met in my life who had a metal plate in his head. he always got reception on WLCY Radio better than anybody else.
3. I learned to play "Spin the Bottle", the nuns never taught us this either. I started having suspicions about the nuns.
4. I coached little Phil Lader, who later in life would go on to be big cheese, especially with the Clintons. I taught Phil how to become motivated into turning a double play in our softball games at South Side. We beat everybody. Phil was quick learner--carry a big bat and you can also make the double play.
5. Most important. I got to meet real juvinile delinquints like the Phoenix brothers and Alan Renner.
6. I learned what "running around in the altogether" meant. Lois Clark, our reading teacher ,was fond of pointing out her window to a couple across the street that she said were in the altogether.
7. I threw a no-hitter and hit my first home run while playing for Coca Cola in Little Major League. The game was played at the old Waterfront Park next to Al Lang Field. This is now the site of the new Dali Museum. By my reckoning if the museum was there when I hit my home run, it would have torn a big hole in Salvador Dali's "The Hallucinoginic Toreodor." If Dali was a baseball fan, he would have forgave me.

8.Then I got tagged out for the final out by Ian Morrison and the Sloppy Grottos. His pop, Manny, was a wiz. For paybacks, I became one of Ian's favorite friends to sleep over at their house. I made it a point every morning to drink more milk than Ian and Bruce together. Mrs. Morrison took a real shine to me.

I then entered SPHS and went on to St. Petersburg Junior College. Dropped out of JC with one hour needed for my AA.

Headed to New York City where I was hired, at age 21, to be sales representative for Eugene Deitzgen Company. Covered 42nd Street down to the Battery. Highlight of my time in the city was listening to Marlon Brando sitting in the seat in front of me on opening day for the "Godfather." He was doing impersonations of Marlon Brando doing Don Corleone. Ian and Tina got married while I lived there--got invited to their wedding. Mrs. Morrison fed me champagne and milk all night long.

Went back to Florida in 1971 and enrolled at USF with the idea of getting my degree in Mass Communications and going on for a law degree. Made a fateful discovery, lawyers spend all their time indoors, didn't fit in with my life plans.
Took a photography course in my program. I was so bad at it my instructor told me to never try and make a living at it. Ten years later, he almost fainted when he saw me with my photo booth at Gasparilla Art festival.

Then I joined the Army and got sent to Hawaii for four years as a journalist, this was post-VietNam. This too was an epochful event because...
1. I got to hang out with Jerry Lopez and all the cool surfer dudes from South Africa and Australia. I picked up lots of helpful insider tips like "Don't get sucked over the falls at Pipeline,brah--its a knarly trip down."
2. Learned what Pakalolo was, then couldn't remember anything more about it, and, it made me very hungry for chocolate when I thought about it.
3. Most important. I did my first art show there at Waimea Falls Park in 1974. Hung out all day with my Army and surfer buds, doing Heinekins and buds. Managed to meet two beautiful blondes and made $15 in sales. I decided right there I was going to do this the rest of my life.
4. Had a life altering event while getting sucked over the falls at Waimea Bay while doing some Magic Mushrooms. I crawled out of the bay on my hands and swore I would never take up surfing again. Of course this paved the way for Kelly Later to win the World Surfing Championship title ten times. Way to go Slater.

MY RETURN TO FLORIDA AND MY CAREER AS A N ART PHOTOGRAPHER

If you have kept up with me so far, you must either be caught up in my moment or you are bored to tears and I am the next best thing to a test pattern on TV, remember them?

Got out of Army , moved to New Smyrna Beach,Florida and started doing art shows as a living.
One eventful event, again happened in my life. Ran into Richard Lane and a young Debbie Harvey at my art show in Palm Harbor. While Rich and I ran around, Debbie sold mucho of my photos for much dinero. I saw her potential early on. I gave her an early copy of Surfing Magazine and told her how I was a cool body-surfer in Hawaii. It was a life-changing event for Debbie, we just didn't know it at the time (She is now prez of Ron Jon Surf Shops empire in case you have not read Richard's bio)

To be continued

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