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Today's Featured Biography

Rick Malone

Hi everyone, I didn't know what this site would permit, so I posted a reunion blog on my website to bring everyone up to speed on me. go to www.myspace.com/ricklmalone and choose the blog titled "Meet the New Rick same as the Old Rick (10 yrs L8r)" but then I got pissed at life, the universe and everything....so I deleted that profile because I was trying to forget a girl I went on a date with back in October (long fucking story) but then realized I liked writing blogs so I reopened a myspace site at www.myspace.com/ekulretsam (that's Master Luke backwards for you star wars neophytes. So, give that a try, and even though it's not the blog I posted about 10 years later, there are a number of blogs that tell you what life is like for me now...like anyone truly fucking cares....I certainly don't. Toodles!

Enjoy. Hope everyone is doing well.

Sincerely,

Rick Malone.

Thought it might be kind of fun to explain why I'm not coming to the reunion, so I've composed a Top 10 list.

Top 10 reasons why Rick will not be attending the 10 year reunion:

10)Cloning has recently been perfected and I beat myself up over my decision.

9) Swerved car to avoid hitting a squirrel and crashed car in the woods where I was enemized by a sapling.

8) Realized I really am the walrus but only just prior to being clubbed to death by a poacher mistaking me for a baby seal.

7) Shot to death in Duel over weather or not the Less Filling Taste Great Budweiser commercials should be aired on TV Land!

6) Decided to finally try to learn how to ski and am now buried under 10 feet of snow in a crumpled mess on the bunny slopes at Holiday Valley

5) Finally experienced Sky Diving, but in turn also experienced barn storming!

4) Decided to lick the back wall of the freezer at Wal-Mart where I work and no one has found me yet

3) We all Drowned from Global Warming (yeah right, like that even exists!)

2) Tried to renact the scene in Christmas Vacation where Clark Griswold drives under the semi and the truck never stopped and we're still driving by some miracle.

and the number one reason why I won't be attending

1) Having not accomplished a bloody thing in 10 years I feel like a sodding failure.

If anyone wants to get in touch...though I can't imagine why, my phone number is (814)-781-7575.

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